i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
