woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
