i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
