I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
