The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
