there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
