In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
