Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
