i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
