oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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