Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
