He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
