he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
