One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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