Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
