just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
