Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
