I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
