I skipped work to stalk him.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
