did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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