Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
