I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
