By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
