Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
