plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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