piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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