Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
