physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
