she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
That accounts for only three of the penises
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
