Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
