even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
