Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize