Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
