when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I need moral support for this bender
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
