i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
