I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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