Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Everyone says I win the strip club
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
