Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
