dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's on the porch naked. Help.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
