If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
