Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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