i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I didn't notice because vodka
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
