yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
