Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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