Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
