tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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