puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
