look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My vagina just recognized that song.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
