well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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