It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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