Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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