So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
