Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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