i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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