I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
