i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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