It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
