jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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