If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
