Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
