Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize