we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
