i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
