i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
