the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
