girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's paint friendship bongs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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